Just imagine you're strolling along the pavement and then a sudden piercing noise coming towards you that sounds like someone with a very tight asshole farting one year’s worth of gas. A mat rempit just passed by with their irritatingly noisy 2 stroke bike (Usually 110-150 cc bike) and what looked like he’s trying to imitate superman, flying across the road. Well, the only time they will succeed with imitatting superman is when they hit something and they'll fly. Hell yeah they can fly. But for a brief moment before they figure out they have to brush up on their landing skills.

Now, LTA (Land Transport Authority) stops the imports of 2 strokes bikes because they're very noisy. That won't stop the mat rempit. Instead, mat rempit find that 4 strokes bikes can save them alot of money. They don't have to buy engine oil and 4 strokes bikes are fuel efficient (They buy fuel at johor anyway). Although 4 strokes bikes are supposed to be quieter, somehow, they manage to make the bike even noisier than their 2 strokes counterparts. This time it sounds like someone with a very loose asshole farting one year’s worth of gas. In my opinion, the reason why they want their bike to be very noisy is to attract attention. These are the guys who can join the girls in attention seeking.

Mat Rempit in Singapore will have their own so call team. Some call it 'budak design’ and some call it 'budak cutting’. I have no idea where the 'cutting’ part comes from but I think it derived from the malay word 'potong (Cut)’ as in to overtake or maybe they need to cut their balls so they can join the girls in attention seeking session. There are a huge number of unofficial bike teams in Singapore. And their team names are usually very kental and corny.

Why are they so kental?
They think with their cheap bike and cheapskate behaviour, they can get all the girls they want. I saw quite a number of them just stops in front of a girl who’s waiting for a cab, asking if they want a ride. Fortunately the girl says no. Else I'll feel very sorry for the girl. Well, I'm not saying they can't get any girls. They can get a girl… but cheap girls lah.

Another reason why they're so kental is this. Singapore’s form of government is  authoritarianism such as illiberal democracy or procedural democracy rather than true democracy. It means, we Singaporeans have to follow what the authority says. We don't have human rights and we can't do whatever we wants. If you think this sucks, find a way to get the hell out of this Zoo. Mat rempit somehow knows there are some modifications that are illegal. So when they did an illegal modifications and they have to go for the annual vehicle inspection, they'll remove the modifications, send for inspection and place it back (Usually the noisy exhaust pipe). Hey hey… I thought they're a racing team? Why remove? I thought they're rebellious? It seems like they still listens to LTA, bow to them, suck their balls and go back to being so call rebellious.

The most kental part of them is when they start putting on their so call 'uniform’. They will all wear the same thing and they think it’s cool. The fact that they think it’s cool to put on something like that just shows how childish they are. Why? Because there’s no point putting on a 'uniform’ for your so call team. There’s no point in creating/joining a racing team in Singapore because the only racing team that Singapore have is for the A1 Grand Prix which they never won and not even close to. Unless Singapore is like Thailand, then be a mat rempit all you want. Atleast you still have a slight chance of getting rich doing illegal racing.

There’s no point in these…. They're wasting their parent’s money to buy a bike which will cause them to spend alot of time hanging around with their group and waste more money on racing modification which in the end they will not race or win any race money and get fines for the modification and waste more money and have to BUY their team’s shirt and waste more money and since most of their friends got no money, they have to waste more money on their friends too and on and on and on until they finally find a suitable spot on a specific road to rest in peace before their parents. Then in the end, their parents will grief and suffer.

So parents… if you just bought a bike (depends on what bike) for your boy, the chances of him being a mat rempit is 80%. If he is not now, he might be soon.

This message is brought to you by the Singapore Traffic Police. Yeah rite… muahaha…

You want speed? Get a car. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCKk97rws48&NR