Just imagine you're strolling along the pavement and then a sudden piercing noise coming towards you that sounds like someone with a very tight asshole farting one year’s worth of gas. A mat rempit just passed by with their irritatingly noisy 2 stroke bike (Usually 110-150 cc bike) and what looked like he’s trying to imitate superman, flying across the road. Well, the only time they will succeed with imitatting superman is when they hit something and they'll fly. Hell yeah they can fly. But for a brief moment before they figure out they have to brush up on their landing skills.

Now, LTA (Land Transport Authority) stops the imports of 2 strokes bikes because they're very noisy. That won't stop the mat rempit. Instead, mat rempit find that 4 strokes bikes can save them alot of money. They don't have to buy engine oil and 4 strokes bikes are fuel efficient (They buy fuel at johor anyway). Although 4 strokes bikes are supposed to be quieter, somehow, they manage to make the bike even noisier than their 2 strokes counterparts. This time it sounds like someone with a very loose asshole farting one year’s worth of gas. In my opinion, the reason why they want their bike to be very noisy is to attract attention. These are the guys who can join the girls in attention seeking.

Mat Rempit in Singapore will have their own so call team. Some call it 'budak design’ and some call it 'budak cutting’. I have no idea where the 'cutting’ part comes from but I think it derived from the malay word 'potong (Cut)’ as in to overtake or maybe they need to cut their balls so they can join the girls in attention seeking session. There are a huge number of unofficial bike teams in Singapore. And their team names are usually very kental and corny.

Why are they so kental?
They think with their cheap bike and cheapskate behaviour, they can get all the girls they want. I saw quite a number of them just stops in front of a girl who’s waiting for a cab, asking if they want a ride. Fortunately the girl says no. Else I'll feel very sorry for the girl. Well, I'm not saying they can't get any girls. They can get a girl… but cheap girls lah.

Another reason why they're so kental is this. Singapore’s form of government is  authoritarianism such as illiberal democracy or procedural democracy rather than true democracy. It means, we Singaporeans have to follow what the authority says. We don't have human rights and we can't do whatever we wants. If you think this sucks, find a way to get the hell out of this Zoo. Mat rempit somehow knows there are some modifications that are illegal. So when they did an illegal modifications and they have to go for the annual vehicle inspection, they'll remove the modifications, send for inspection and place it back (Usually the noisy exhaust pipe). Hey hey… I thought they're a racing team? Why remove? I thought they're rebellious? It seems like they still listens to LTA, bow to them, suck their balls and go back to being so call rebellious.

The most kental part of them is when they start putting on their so call 'uniform’. They will all wear the same thing and they think it’s cool. The fact that they think it’s cool to put on something like that just shows how childish they are. Why? Because there’s no point putting on a 'uniform’ for your so call team. There’s no point in creating/joining a racing team in Singapore because the only racing team that Singapore have is for the A1 Grand Prix which they never won and not even close to. Unless Singapore is like Thailand, then be a mat rempit all you want. Atleast you still have a slight chance of getting rich doing illegal racing.

There’s no point in these…. They're wasting their parent’s money to buy a bike which will cause them to spend alot of time hanging around with their group and waste more money on racing modification which in the end they will not race or win any race money and get fines for the modification and waste more money and have to BUY their team’s shirt and waste more money and since most of their friends got no money, they have to waste more money on their friends too and on and on and on until they finally find a suitable spot on a specific road to rest in peace before their parents. Then in the end, their parents will grief and suffer.

So parents… if you just bought a bike (depends on what bike) for your boy, the chances of him being a mat rempit is 80%. If he is not now, he might be soon.

This message is brought to you by the Singapore Traffic Police. Yeah rite… muahaha…

You want speed? Get a car. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCKk97rws48&NR

It’s a rather late entry but I've been lazy. So here’s some pix from the Big Boyz Toyz.

It’s almost impossible to tell if a girl loves the guy or the car isn't it? For guys who owns a car, here’s what I know. Females seeks attention and if your car is the attention magnet type, she’s in love with your car.
Ofcourse it ain't no big boyish toys if there isn't any toy girl to toy around with. Apparently, SHE invited me to the BBT with the main purpose of showing her friend, 'Farah’ in bikinis posing on the stage. Let me sum this up. SHE brought me to watch girls in bikini, got in the featured area for free and suppose to drool at those girls in bikini. hmm…. I know I'm lucky to have HER. But SHE knows I'm more interested in the cars than the almost naked girls on the stage because SHE also knew that I can't tolerate self centered attention seeking girls. So HER friend is one of the featured toy girl and because I'm a sharing person (like real), enjoy… for your eyes only.

Like Anita Serawak said, “Are you the enjoys!?!?". Hope Nana enjoys too… till the next post…
“The world’s as ugly as sin, and almost as delightful"

About time I place the links of all those people who linked me.

If your link is there at the 'Angelic Alliance', most of you linked me by eddyvlad.com which is not going to be pointing on this blog soon. Eddyvlad.com is currently being pointed here because it have nowhere to go and currently I'm developing another website for eddyvlad.com…. No it’s not a blog. So update your link to mrbrowneyes.com alright…

Also if you've linked me and didn't get a link back, just email me. If you don't know my email address, post a comment. Don't worry, it'll get moderated. And for those who thinks that your link should be there, it’s not there because you didn't link me.
Ending…
If you want to see pictures of the festive season, go to HER site.

Yeah yeah... girls have to go through PMS but it's only 4-5 days a month while guys have RAGE that can never go away. So the thingy below is invented for raging guys to save them from jailtime. Just toss the girl around with your mouse. P.S: If only there's sound effects, blood and detachable limbs, it might just be keeping me busy for atleast 6 hours.

Matreps/Minahreps are typical young Malays who distinctively must hang around in large groups without any motive or direction. They just like to waste their time, sometimes ironically talking about how their community is being looked down upon. If you still don't get it, they're the Malay ah-bengs/ah-lians. In fact, all Malays are either mat or Minah. It’s the subcategory their in is what matters. E.g. Mat Rock, Mat Smart, Minah Ferring… And so on. Why talk about matrep/minahrep? It is because they make up the majority of Mats and Minahs. Don't believe me? Go to their 'headquarter’ at Esplanade on Saturday evening. Then you'll believe me.

How to detect a matrep/minahrep even though they don't look like one? Well… looks can be deceiving. Anybody can look like a matrep/minahrep and stereotypically, you will start thinking, “Oh he/she is a matrep/minahrep". You can't do that because they're obviously always up to date with fashion. And so if others were to be up to date with fashion, they'll be group as matrep/minahrep too? You don't have to look like a nerd to be a programmer rite? Oh well… my definition of them are purely on their social and lifestyle attitude.

Where can they be found?
They can be found at void decks, parks shelter and outside shopping mall when they're broke. When they have some change, they can be found at coffee shop or simply, places where there are tables, chairs, drink stall and have to be outdoors so that they'll be noticeable and be able to smoke and drink their stuff for hours while they gossip and laugh so ever loudly. On weekends, they're either at their 'headquarter', clubs or simply places where there’s a bunch of them, usually places that are crowded or where the food is cheap. On festive season (Hari Raya), they will branch out to Geylang for a month. While companies branch out to expand its business, matnarep branch out to gain more attention. They’ll be at Geylang for almost the whole night just strolling around without a motive or destination despite that place being densely crowded which makes them a huge obstacle for people who really wanted to shop. You can also find lots of them behind Tampines Mall (Human Resource Department I guess).

How do they speak?
As usual, vulgarities are a necessity to them. Without it, they’ll feel dumber than they already are. Their languages always ends with sial1, siak or sey. Those are slangs they use to make their sentences sounds cooler. Sometimes when they’re angry, they’ll end a sentence with, “Macam Pukimak2 sial!”

What do they talk about?
Even though some of them can be found at parks, they don’t happen to be talking about birds and trees. They usually talk about how cool their friends are, or they talk about what happened at the club, or they talk about how they felt about their friend’s relationship. Basically, they talk about nothing productive. They talk about nothing that will improve their life but talked about other people’s problems and somehow by doing that will create more problems to their life. I call it inviting problems.

How will they react if they’re called a matrep/minahrep?
Oh well, they might be populated by bimbos and himbos but they’re smart at this. They use an act that has been proven effective in combating accusation. They use ‘the art of denial’. As a matter of fact, most of them don’t know that they’re living and talking in the lifestyle of what is a disease in society, known as matrep/minahrep. Well, actually none of them will admit I can bet ya.

What are their hobbies?
Let me make it short and simple. They seek attention so they ‘tangkap hansem’ (Boys) or ‘tangkap jambu’ (Girls) at the places I mentioned earlier, seeking attention from the opposite sex. Girls wear skimpy clothes (while trying to be noticed) to tease the guys while the guys will tease them back, eventually ending up with phone number exchange program.

Disclaimer
I am neither against or trying very hard to discriminate this minor group of people. My only motive in writing this entry is to create the awareness that this kind of lifestyle if practice everyday won’t do any good. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to go to such places or to hang out with your friends but when that activity has become a part of your everyday life, it’s just ridiculous.

Moral of the story is, “Stop wasting your time. Your future is not going to come for you. It’s waiting for you.”

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At her Birthday Bash, it was my first time goinh Karaoke without any alcohol. In respect to the fasting month and ofcourse, the last time I had my alcohol was in Zouk K.L. back in march or something. Well, there’s always margin to change.

Anyway, just want to say thanks to Shaz, Sri, Ning, Ani, Lala, Nais and ofcourse HER (No pix here. Go HER website. Else just imagine 6 hot girls and 2 shy guys kay) for the wonderful time. Although I couldn't really sing due to my recovering cough. There’s pix and wild vids but I'm thinking twice of putting it up. Maybe SHE'll put it up maybe not. I don't know… i think it’s a bad idea putting up such things online. I don't like exposure. It can create problems.

Well… ok ok. Here you go. Just 2 will do. Have a great hazy days people!!

MUIS (Majlis Ugama Islam Singapura)(Islamic Religious Council Of Singapore) had turn funky recently. Well… actually 3 weeks ago. If that’s not a surprise, they're giving away a free Ipod Nano if you ask them a question about Islam (If your question is good ofcourse). Go on ask them anything. Make sure you try to ask a question that you think will cost them hours of research just to answer your question so it’s all worthwhile.

Oh yeah… the link is www.iask.com.sg good luck!

If you happen to read their replies on the previous week’s question… Ahh… I just want to quote his answer.

Q1.	If wine is haram due to its alcoholic contents, then will it still be haram if wine is cooked in food, as by then the alcohol would have evaporated?

A

That’s an interesting question. If you were to recall, alcohol is considered najis. Halal food should not be cross-contaminated or come into contact with any form of najis. But think about it, if the alcohol evaporates in the end, why cook food with it in the first place. Furthermore, we can't be sure that all the wine would have evaporated, right ?? But it’s good that you brought this up!

Halal food should not be cross-contaminated with any form of najis? If he did refer alcohol as najis, then stop taking the cough medicine. It’s najis kay.
If the alcohol evaporates in the end, why cook food with it in the first place. Oh well… I'm definitely sure whoever said that can't cook.

Usage of wine in cooking is to add interesting flavours to the dish. Wine adds a robust interest and thickening power to cooking. It isn't about the alcohol. The alcohol will evaporate. Infact, it’s burnt off.

To add, tapai (fermented tapioca) is a very popular dessert amongst the malay. To make tapai, it requires yeast and fermented. It’s almost the same process as making wine or beer. Wine ferment because grapes contains glucose and fructose that will become alcohol with it’s natural yeast. Beer uses yeast, bread uses yeast too and fermentation occurs. The end result, the alcohol content in tapai can be the same level as a regular beer. The reason why you don't get drunk eating tapai is because you can only eat so many until you'll get too full to eat more.

My point is, why talk so much about cooking with wine when in the end, the cooking isn't alcoholic at all. The funny thing is, since the al-quran only mention about drinking wine, people only concentrated on drinking only when eating tapai is as good as drinking wine. And nobody talks about it.

Don't bother asking this question at the website. I already did :p

Received a forwarded email regarding the latest racial issue that was recently sparked by the bias opinion of our Senior Minister Lee Kwan Yew (whom I think is suffering from alzheimer’s), saying that malaysian chinese are being marginalised.

Err… excuse me? Have you ever took a look at how marginalised Singaporean Malays/Indians are?
Here’s the forwarded email :-

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Dear Mr Mansor Sukaimi,
I hope you can still remember me, R, wife of S, both of us were Mendaki tutors.
I cannot sleep and happen to open my e-mail to look for avenues for another job.

Ever since I got my Bachelor degree in Art from NIE/NTU, I feel marginalised and demoralised with the way I'm treated by my superiors in my school.
I've made up my mind to leave the teaching profession coz I really cannot take the discrimination and mental torture that they put me through.

I seek your help. If you have any job vacancy suitable for me, please e-mail to me as soon as possible. I intend to start a new career wef next year.
Thank you.
And Selamat beribadah di bulan Ramadhan yg mulia ini.

From:
R

Reply :-

Assalamu`alaikum wr wbk

Yes, I agree that Singapore is full of “Chinese-anti-Malay prejudice".
I have seen this in Polys and NTU and many government/stat board cases.
[Please see my letter to PMO below.]

However, our Chinese leaders and Malay MPs do not take it as reality, and they will always have some rartionales to deny it.
If they do, they cannot handle this publicly. I only hope that, internally, they do some soul searching, and do it with the commitment of making Singapore are truly just and functional multi-racial society befitting a country that strives to be civil and honest.

Every time I encounter this kind of prejudice, I actually feel sorry for the Chinese as they aggravate their haughtiness and deep sense of injustice, yet they feel good and righteous about it.

However, don't worry: the more we face these kinds of injustices, the stronger should be our resolve to work hard, and show the Chinese that life must be grounded by magnanimity and kindness, not arrogance and disdain on account of race or religion.

Please fon me at 96666544 and we can discuss some outlets.

Wassalam

Mansor

More :-

My Letter to PM
Dear Prime Minister.

May you and family be in the best of health and blessings.

If there is a way, can you ask local papers or media channels to stop from reporting or discussing the remarks made by MM Lee about Malaysian Chinese?

I say this coz comments published in Singapore (supporting MM’s
comments) are made from a skewed angle and do not take into account the historical reasons.
The comments so far are made by Chinese Singaporeans who do not really
understand the issues. They also seem to suggest that similar problems do not exist in Singapore when, in fact, Singapore Malays in their own motherland, Singapore, are treated more dismally that Malaysian Chinese in the land of Malay Bumis.

Indeed, if this issue is to continue, then it is only fair to show that Chinese leaders in Singapore are doing greater injustice to Singapore Malays than Malay Malaysian leaders to Malaysian Chinese.

The Malaysian Chinese are not bumis in Malaysia yet they get nearly every thing:
a) Right to have Chinese vernacular education from preschool to university.
b) Right to retain their Chinese names [The Chinese in Indonesia and Thailand get nothing of that sort. Worse, they have to have Thai or Indonesian names]
c) Right to display Chinese names in Chinese characters in huge public adverts in buildings and public places
d) In development projects, they reap early profits as all projects require infrastructures and these materials are controlled by Malaysian Chinese
e) Voting strength by constituencies also show so many Chinese advantage.

It is good for us not to say that Malaysian Chinese are “marginalized".

If they want to talk about marginalization or injustices, it is better
that
they talk about Singapore Malays who, in their own motherland, are
marginalized and subject to so many injustices:
1. Malay language has lost its stature in the State and industry
2. Chinese language has now become a universal precondition in employment

2. Malays are “cordoned off" in National Service. Many key security sites are out-of-bounds to Malays [Even Malay Ministers and MP’s are not allowed to enter such areas]
3. The Civil Defence takes in high proportion of Malays considering
the
lower stature of CD and the higher death and injury risk in CD services
4. No Malays are holding key positions in government and statutory boards.
5. Malay MP’s are given sinecures. In fact Malays are deemed fit only to be Ministers in Sewerage, Drainage, Refuse, Welfare and Drugs matters
6. Promotions and postings in government and statutory boards also show the Singapore Chinese’ disdain towards Singapore Malays
7. Recent retrenchments also reflected that Singapore Malays “should go first"
8. Proportion of Singapore Malays who remained unemployed is high, notwithstanding good educational and vocational qualifications
9. Vast in-take of Chinese from China, Hong Kong and Taiwan into Singapore but strict control of Malays from Malaysia and Indonesia.
I hope your office would do something to stop this, or rectify the matter by giving the issue its proper balance.

I cc this note to BH Singapore and Malaysia.
I do not cc to Straits Times as they do not publish letters of this kind.
I cc to TODAY coz two strong letters were published in today’s TODAY edition.

Regards

Mansor Haji Sukaimi
Former Member of Parliament (1976-1984)

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Actually I find the email a sensitive issue which have never been discussed by our ministers publicly.Alright… I'm not going to comment further as I am ashamed of being a Singaporean now.

Fixed It
Oh boy and I thought I'm the stubborn one. Little did I realized that wordpress is more stubborn than me. Keep tweaking here and there, without any noticable changes. In the end, the only person who knows wordpress best is the creator himself. So I asked him and he told me to install a plugin which also doesn't get the job done.

Here’s a tip. If you're a total beginner, use wordpress. If you like to put codes in your entries, forget wordpress. It have too many auto-formatting that will be a pain in the ass to developers who tried to put codes in their entry. Codes as in those that work. Not the kind of codes where you show people how it is done.

Sing It
Went to watch Singapore Idol… hmm… Jonathon (whatever you spell it as) sings off key all the time and Hady’s voice is WOW with only a minor glitch at the second song because it was too high!! If all those deaf Singaporeans vote for Jonathon and he actually wins, it’s such a shame. If you don't notice it yet, all Singapore idol’s advertisements, they only use Hady’s voice. For obvious reason.

Stab It
Me and HER went to esplanade on Saturday and without realising, someone actually got stabbed (and I think he’s dead by now) near the memorial. I was just wishing it could be the pig or one of the pig’s friend. Oh well… let them kill each other so they have their own unnofficial way of matrep population control.

I Win!!
Apart from fixing the stubborn wordpress, deaf singaporeans and stabbed singaporeans, I won 2 tickets to starlight cinema. My boss sent me the link to the contest and I tought it wouldn't be so hard, just fill up the damn form. I sent an MMS picture of Me and HER, saying ************* (Sorry can't tell :p) and I won!! With the fact that life has been so beautiful for me eversince I release the pig, I kinda had the feeling that I will win. Just one more thing…

Rock On!!
Is anyone going to the Yngwie Malmsteen concert? Any matrock or minah rock interested to join Mint and me? Comment with some contact info. I won't publish your contact info don't worry. ROCK ON!!

A friend of mine just got fired because someone lodge a complain against him and provoked the manager to terminate him. Well... the complainer succeeded but what did the complainer get? Money? Power? Or just plain satisfaction. If satisfaction is what you eat everyday, please stop calling yourself human because for sure you're not humanely at all.

Everybody who knows what is Singapore, must've already know that Singaporeans always complains. In productivity wise, yes it's good to complain. The company get feedbacks and take necessary actions on the employee. But in REALITY, you have no fucking idea what sort of situation that person is in. Maybe he/she is having a bad day, family problems or some shit.

If you really do have the itch to lodge a complain, please remind whoever you're complaing to, only take necessary actions and not provoke them to fire his/he ass. You know why? Because you wouldn't know if he/she have a family to feed or have to take care of his/her crippled siblings. When life is already miserable for them, if they're terminated because of you, what you're doing is adding salt to their wound!!

What if it's you who have to feed your miserable family, having 2 jobs, working your ass off all day. Can you guarantee that you may be able to do your work well every minute? Think about this before you start lodging a complain against someone.

Management should also do their part, not to terminate their employee just because the complainer force them to. You're just proving yourself a bad employer, not trying to listen to what your employee have to say. Most of the times, employees who have domestic problems don't tell their employers about it. Employers should find out where the problem lies and try to solve it instead of doing what our authority did best, throw (kill) the bad ones away. Bottomline, it's the employees who have to do the hard work everyday.
I've had nasty arguements with taxi drivers but I didn't bring myself to lodging a complain because I know these drivers are on the road all day long just to feed their families. Even knowing that I can just walk away without paying, I still pay them.

ROBOTS (Singaporeans)!! Don't be a retard!! Stop being selfish and start thinking about others!! If you can't help it, think about this... Singapore is only 682.7 km². The chances of this person you're complaining about bumping onto you is very high. I bet if you got him/her fired, the first thing that comes to their mind when he/she sees you is to kick your sorry ass.

If it were me, I will do whatever it takes to bring him/her down and kiss my feet, eat my shoes, break every one of his/her teeth, grind his/her face on the surface of the road, put his/her mouth on the curb and step on his/her head. I don't give a crap if it's a guy or a girl. Since alot of women nowadays have the same ego level as men and try to argue that they're of equal capability, let's see how they fair getting equal punishment. Hmm... how about women should also get canning for drug abuse? That'll be fair and prove that they're of equal capability with men. Maybe I should talk about this in another entry.

So if you see anyone with a scar face, no teeth and mouth that smell like a shoe, now you know what that person did.