What inspired me to do this? I don't know. You figure. Mind you, I'm putting it in a more polite manner. I used the term “Sex Worker". I didn't use the word “Prostitute" or “Whore" (Now that’s bad).

What is a sex worker?
A sex worker is considered a blue-collar worker who had sex with people they hardly know as a living. Although doesn't necessarily applies to female, it may apply to male also. But they're more likely to be a female because there are more 'cikopek’ around than desperate housewives.

What is a professional sex worker?
This one usually applies to the male sex worker (Giggolo) but ofcourse, there are more females in this area of 'employment’. They're considered as the white-collar of sex workers. They earn more than the regular sex worker and they're usually more well known.

What is a wannabe sex worker?
This bunch of people who thinks they qualify to become a professional sex worker but don't meet the requirements. I'll talk about it as we go on.

First and foremost, before you start to think, “Hey!! I want to be a whore. I heard they make good money". That’s when you're wrong. In this kind of line, it involves 'marketing’ and 'business strategies’. You got to know how to market yourself and you got to learn the strategy of getting yourself a good paying customer.

Then we come down to the basic of it, “Passion". You got to have the love of sex. Not the other way round. It’s a totally different meaning between making love and just sex. If you're the kind who’s very kinky and 'naughty', you only have the natural talent but that doesn't mean passion. Passion is when you happen to be doing it on the 13th floor with some guy you hardly knew or best is when your boyfriend just died, you shouted 'hooray’ and start 'riding’ some guys you hardly knew shortly after, then you have the passion for it, women.

The most obvious requirement is ofcourse, your body. People usually ignore the face coz they're main motive is going for the 'base’. You know the guy is only going for your base when he insisted to switch off the lights or he prefers you to ride with her back towards you. The boobs is the most important part. You know you're a wannabe when you did what I previously said but keep having to lift up your strapless dress every 5 minutes. If you can wear a strapless dress and don't touch it for more than 5 minutes, you're on.

The next part is your 'V’. Some call it 'pussy', 'cunt', 'clit', whatever you call it. But I prefer to call it 'pink’. It just sounds more polite. Why pink? Because you know you're a wannabe when yours isn't actually pink. If it’s not pink means you're not a sex worker but a whore.

Now 'hole’ on a minute. That’s just the colour of it. How about the 'quality’ of it. This is simple. Not only customers but I bet every guy likes it tight. If yours are flimsy and you enjoy having someone shove his hands up your cunt, then you're a super whore. Super whore is the dirtiest and cheapest (Actually they're free) whore you can find. You can usually find these whore on the 13th floor but it’s habitat is usually on the 12th.

I forgot to mention, there’s also an undercover sex worker. This breed is usually in the mid species of whore. Sometimes they're free, sometimes you need to give it a bouqet of flowers to get the kick start. They're called undercover whore because not many people knows she’s a whore. Their parents don't know and even their friends don't know. They keep it a secret between clients only.

Undercover Whore have these characteristics; They're flat chested (Skip the face). If they wear a strapless dress, they're gonna have to lift it up every 5 minutes. Usually they avoid wearing strapless dress. They wear flowery, holey skirt. This makes them look sweet and can easily deceive people. It’s also the reason for the bouqet of flowers. They don't have pink ones. That is why they're categorised as a whore. Unlike others who are tight, this breed enjoys it when you shove your hand up her cunt. They like the 13th floor.

What causes the existence of this undercover whore? I don't exactly know how they became this way but I know someone who is an undercover whore. Her boyfriend passed away, shouted, 'Horrrayy!!’ and starts screwing guys after guys (for free!! One of the guy actually got an mp3 player from her) at the 13th floor and suddenly she became one.

Conclusion
Tell you what. If you actually read all those craps that I wrote up till here, you're either very interested to know how to be a professional sex worker or you just have too much time to spare. The reason I wrote this craps is for experimenting Search Engine Optimisation. I'm expecting in 2 or 3 days, my blog will have higher hit ratings than before due to people looking for porn sites using Google or the like, typing in the quoted keywords in the search. I expected the words in quotes to be the top ten keywords in my website stats.

To end this
For those who are actually offended by what I've said and kinda hit you and hated me for it, please don't. I suggest you print this entry, stick it onto your mirror and hate yourself. Then say it in malay, “Siapa makan cili, dia terasa pedas". To translate that directly in english, “Who eats the chili, they're taste the pungency". If you don't want to be called a whore, simply don't do whatever I just mentioned.

Disclaimer
Writing this craps don't suggest that I'm in a hypersexual drive or I've been there and done that. It’s actually a true story about someone I knew. I don't want to mention her name. Exposing people’s flaw is bad enough, exposing it while pointing my finger at them is evil.

Oh yeah… grammar and spelling mistake may occur. I'm sleepy already.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 12th, 2006 at 2:34 am and is filed under How To, Ugly. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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