Have you ever watched “The Mist”, the movie that is based on Stephen King’s novella? Well, I’m not a fan of horror movie. Not because I’m scared, but because I will end up hating the characters in horror films. Why? It’s because they always make the characters in horror movies very slow and stupid. For example, the most typical scenario they have in a horror movie is when the character knows there’s something or someone dangerous looking for them and they heard a noise, they will somehow inevitably try to see who or what is making that noise. Well, I think “The Mist” have too many typical horror movie scenarios. Although I like the story line, inevitably, I ended up hating the characters by the end of the movies. So I’ve compiled 50 things I learned from the movie, “The Mist”.

Warning!! What you’re about to read will contain a lot of spoilers. Make sure you’ve watched the movie first before reading the 50 points below. If you haven’t watched the movie, most likely you don’t know what I’m talking about. And if you take the following 50 points seriously, you seriously need to see a humor doctor.

1.       In time of disaster, stay close to the supermarket.

2.       When your enemy neighbor’s car got smashed up, tell him you’re sorry because it was a cheery car.

3.       Don’t live near a military base.

4.       When you see a lot of military personnel being mobilized after a freak storm, ignore them.

5.       Always park as close to the supermarket as possible. Just in case.

6.       A large man’s jacket is not good enough to cover your small child as a blanket; always go into the dark loading dock to find something better even though you know something freaky is going on.

7.       Don’t listen to your car mechanic when its not car related.

8.       If a kid is being dragged out into a killer mist by a tentacle you should at no point offer any form of assistance, merely sit back and let two other guys fail at saving him.

9.       Send a kid out to fix the generator, and if he dies that’s okay because he’s supposed to be stupid.

10.   When there is a giant monster attacking you, it doesn’t necessarily mean there will be Japanese people yelling Godzilla!

11.   After a monster devour a fifty pound bag of dog food, pile lots of dog food bags at the front door.

12.   It is important to file a report on employees drinking in the workplace under any circumstance.

13.   If you think there’s nothing outside that can harm you and it’s all a lie or joke, the best way to prove it is to stay inside the supermarket and seek to be rescued.

14.   If you poke a chopped off tentacle, it will turn into liquid.

15.   Short dorky guys with half-inch thick glasses are inexplicably much better shots than military personnel.

16.   When trapped in a supermarket with a religious freak, lock her in a room.

17.   The best way to psychologically traumatize your son is to bludgeon an otherworldly pterodactyl to death in front of him with a flaming mop.

18.   Some childproof lighters can be adult proof too and take a few nice minutes to light

19.   If you're being attacked by a swarm of creatures attracted to light, run around yelling “turn out the lights!" while turning on lights and starting fires.

20.   When an insect didn’t bite you when you’re not threatening it, can be interpreted as divine intervention.

21.   If you don’t know what to do in any circumstances, scream as loud as you can.

22.   The medicine aisle in the grocery store will have everything except what you need.

23.   It’s okay for the religious nut to accuse people of stealing food even though she didn't have a receipt for the bottle of milk she was drinking.

24.   If you’re a in a military and something went wrong, go AWOL in the supermarket and make out with the cashier girl.

25.   Being a teenager and making out in the back room will inevitably wind up getting you killed, just like in every Friday the 13th and Halloween movie featuring teenagers making out.

26.   Parallel universes are foggy.

27.   Never piss off an old lady with canned vegetables.

28.   Giant alien monsters only prefer the TOP half of a human, the bottom they leave for ground crawlers.

29.   Pharmacies sells comic book.

30.   When you go through all the risk to the pharmacy to get medications for the sick, the first thing to grab is the comic book.

31.   When you know aliens are out there hunting you and you hear weird noises, make sure you check it out before you start running.

32.   When you know aliens are looking for you and if you happen to walk into a room full of human beings wrapped in cobwebs, stick around and lean against it.

33.   You'll still be able to keep screaming even after alien insects are bursting out of your skin.

34.   When you see an alien spider the size of a Rottweiler trying to attack you from a few inches away, stay still and scream as loud as you can.

35.   When you see your friend about to be attack by an alien spider the size of a Rottweiler and he’s staying still while screaming as loud as he can, shoot the god damn spider.

36.   Getting sprayed with acid on your upper thigh is somehow fatal and will kill you in less than a minute.

37.   When you’re back at the supermarket, your friend who were about to be attacked by the alien spider the size of a Rottweiler just now will be a religious nut and will try to kill you.

38.   If your military buddies tell you they're going to hang themselves, take them seriously.

39.   If you’re in the military, it’s always your fault.

40.   If you tell the military personnel it’s his fault, he will cry.

41.   If you’re a religious nut and trapped in a supermarket, someone will shoot you in the head.

42.   When you see a giant monster behind your friend, don’t tell him to run but just look at him in horror.

43.   When your friend is looking at you in horror for something behind you that might have scared them, turn very slowly to see what it is.

44.   Once you're inside a Toyota Land Cruiser, monsters will stop trying to eat you.

45.   When there are aliens outside and you open the car door to reach the gun in front of the car, scream very loudly.

46.   Always hang around in the car first before starting the car to get away from the aliens.

47.   Drive very slowly in-front of the crowds that were trying to kill you.

48.   When you ran out of fuel, wait 5 minutes then shoot your son.

49.   Before you shoot your son, make sure he wakes up to see that his father has betrayed him.

50.   A military convoy is silent until you see them.